Ten Ways to Annoy a Cowboy
by SomaFan
Summary: Ten funny, fluffy, or romantic mini-stories, centered around Vaughn and Chelsea's relationship. Read at Own Risk to sanity...seriously they are that bad. Probably not worth an M rating but put there just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**Ten Ways to Annoy a Cowboy**

Written by: SomaFan

_AN: This will be a compilation of 10 stand alone mini-stories that refused to go unwritten, but also would not allow themselves to be placed into an actual plot of any kind. I thought they were either too funny, fluffy, or romantic to be tossed aside so I figured I'd put them together for you all to hopefully enjoy as well._

_This first idea was based off a dirty joke a friend told me back in my highschool years, so yeah…I probably really needed better friends._

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The sun shone down upon the land with a powerful heat that threatened to wither even the most study of living creatures. Vaughn felt like he was dying under that accursed sun, which was no surprise considering his outfit was mostly black. When no one was looking he slipped away from work and found himself within the forest near the Goddess pond. He had planned on resting under the trees, because the shade significantly lowered the temperature of the air.

Suddenly he heard a loud splash that drew his attention to the water itself, and froze him in his tracks. There was a vision out of his more private dreams. The beautiful Chelsea was there in all her Goddess given glory, diving and swimming as if she hadn't a care in the world.

Now Vaughn would be the last person to say he was a gentleman, but he sure as hell had a code of honor, and peeping at naked girls in a pond was totally against it. He was about to turn around and leave when she rose fully from the waist high water and revealed her ample bosom to the world. His jaw hit the floor and any honor he might have had ran away faster then a frightened rabbit.

"Vaughn? Is that ya?" She turned to him fully, before squealing in joy and running up to hug him. Normally he would have stopped her, because let's face it Vaughn does NOT do hugs, but with so much of his blood filtered south it was all he could do not to fall over when she crashed against him. She pecked him on the lips, and the cool touch brought him out of his daze.

"What the hell are you doing!?"

"Swimming!" She replied with an innocent smile.

"Naked!?"

"Yup! It was hot and I didn't bring a change of clothes, plus the water feels really good…see?" She leaned down and splashed him with the cold water.

"Hey!" He grumbled a bit, but had to admit that cold water felt like heaven in the hot air. He could see why she had been tempted, but he wished she would stop tempting him as she went back into the pond and began a backstroke.

"Get out now! Someone else could see you!" She raised an eyebrow. "…and I don't want to share…" the last part was whispered and hastily tacked on, and she couldn't suppress a giggle at his sulky expression.

"No one comes out here usually. Come on, and join me!" She waved happily as she stood in the water, urging him to come. Normally he would have yelled at her for being stupid, given her some rude comment, and stormed off. But how the hell do you fight with the girl you secretly love, while she is naked and dripping wet in a pond of cold tempting water on a mercilessly hot day? Easy answer? You don't. He set a world record for removing an entire cowboy outfit and dove into the water with her.

The water felt amazing on his overheated skin. It was even a bit too cold. Chelsea swam up to him and once again wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing their bodies closer and giving him a much deeper kiss. He could feel himself slipping away as a new kind of heat began to grow between them.

Suddenly a gasp could be heard and Vaughn steeled his nerve before turning towards their new guest. There stood Charlie, staring at both of them with innocent eyes the size of saucers and mouth wide open.

"What are you doing?" He asked quietly.

"Um…we were just…um…er…" He was at a loss for words, but Charlie seemed to forget his original question as his eyes somehow managed to go even wider and he pointed at Chelsea.

"What are those!?"

Chelsea turned a few shades of red as she frantically tried to cover herself from the child's innocent gaze, but it was too late to be unseen and the question had been asked. Without thinking, Vaughn answered with the first, innocent lie that popped into his head.

"They're headlights!" The look Chelsea gave him was priceless, somewhere between shocked and disbelieving and he could feel his face turning ten different shades of red. Charlie tilted his head as if trying to understand.

"Like…the things on a car from the city?"

"Er…Yeah. Just like those."

"Do they light up?"

He swallowed hard and blushed harder at the thought. "Kinda…"

"I wanna see!"

"Er…You can't…"

"Why?"

Vaughn hadn't expected that response and looked to Chelsea for help, but quickly realized he would get none. She was looking at him with a questioning expression, clearly waiting to hear his explanation for this as well.

"…Because...only grownups can do it and….it's not night time yet!"

"Oh…that makes sense." Charlie nodded his head signaling he understood what the older man was telling him. Suddenly his face lit up and he started running back down the path to the village. "I'm gonna go ask daddy if I can have headlights when I grow up too!"

He was gone before they could stop him. After he left, they stood there in awkward silence.

"Headlights?" Her incredulous voice somehow deepened his blush further.

"Shut up I panicked!"

"This isn't goin' to end well…"

"Nope…" He agreed.

That evening found them both fully clothed and bowing apologetically to a fuming Chen as he lectured them on the evils of playing hooky, skinny dipping, and exposing innocent children to indecent things then lying about it. As he continued to scold them ruthlessly, they both shared a look and smiled at each other, agreeing.

"_It had been totally worth it."_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**_So there is the first story and if you don't already know the joke well…to bad cause I am SO not repeating it… Read, laugh, and enjoy!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ten Ways to Annoy a Cowboy**

Written by: SomaFan

_AN: Second up! Forgot to put a disclaimer in the first chapter…so here it is now and won't be written again. *pulls out note card and reads dispationatly* I do not own the characters within. They belong to whoever it was that made them into a game and sold them for profit. I got none of that "profit" so I had nothing to do with them. That is all._

**XXXXXXXXXX**

It was a pleasantly warm summer day, not too hot since it was close to the end of the season, and Chelsea happily skipped along the path with a basket in hand. She stopped when she noticed a black figure in one of the fields, and happily called out to it.

"Hey, Vaughn! Come here for a sec!"

He looked up at the sound of her voice and glared. "What do you want? I'm busy!"

"I need a favor! It'll take less then five minutes promise!"

"What?" He was clearly irritated almost growling at her as he approached the road.

"I need someone to try this for me! I'm making a cake for Charlie's birthday, but I need someone's opinion on the recipe."

"Not interested." He started to turn away.

"Please? Everyone else has been too busy to even listen to me today!" She latched onto his arm and gave him the most pleading, puppy dog eyes she could manage. Gradually his glare lessened into a look of resignation and he sighed.

"Fine…but only cause it's you."

"Yay! Thank you!" She gave him a quick hug and before he could even think about changing his mind pulled a piece of cake out of the basket. It was a red-orange color, with simple slightly sour smelling white icing. He had never seen a cake that color before, but the icing smelled familiar.

"Cream cheese?"

"Yup!" She nodded and brought a piece of the cake up to his lips with a fork she had dug out of a napkin.

He flushed a bit at the thought of being fed like an infant, but took the offered bite anyway. The slight tartness of the icing went really well with the flavor of the cake which was actually not as sweet as he had expected. Though the cake was really smooth it had pieces of something crunchy throughout.

"It's not bad." He admitted and her face lit up brighter then the sunniest day.

"Really! Yay!"

"I've never tasted a cake like this before. What kind is it?"

"It's a carrot cake!"

Anyone who came upon the scene would have seen a pissed off Vaughn stomping away from Chelsea who was now wearing said cake like a hat.

"But I thought ya said it wasn't bad…" she whimpered to his retreating back.

"Shut up!"

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**_Yeah…well…I thought it was funny at any rate… Is it weird I could actually see Vaughn doing this?_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ten Ways to Annoy a Cowboy**

Written by: SomaFan

_AN: Third story edited for FanFiction site standards. I make no promises on town layout consistency…heck I don't even promise character consistency considering I know so little about them…those games are hard…_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

It had been a very quiet day. The air held the crisp flavorful aroma of autumn, and a freshness that only came after a good rainstorm. Vaughn took a deep breath, savoring the scents of the island. Winter might have been his favorite season, but he couldn't deny he loved the feel of days like this. He sidestepped a large muddy puddle on the road, and paused to stretch out his back and linger a few moments more in the rays of the setting sun.

He was just about to start moving when he heard a faint yelp, followed by a shout.

"Look out!"

Vaughn looked towards the voice and paled. He almost didn't dodge the huge pumpkin that had come barreling down a hill towards him. With a groan he picked himself off the ground and brushed some of the dirt from his clothes as Chelsea ran to him.

"Are ya okay? I am so sorry! I was harvestin' the pumpkins and that one was WAY bigger than the others. I put it down to rest for a second and…"

"I'm fine. No harm done." He gave her a reassuring look and went to straighten his hat, only to find it wasn't atop his head. She noticed it too and began looking around frantically, before her gaze fell to something behind him and she paled a bit herself. He followed her eyes to see his hat half sunk and flattened in the muddy water and covered in the innards of the broken pumpkin that had landed on it.

"Well…almost no harm done…" He scooped up the hat grumbling and tried to shake off the mess to no avail, cringing at the sticky mess.

She gave him the most apologetic look he had ever seen. "I am so sorry! I'll get you a new hat to replace it!"

"That's not necessary. I'll just have it laundered when I get back to the mainland."

"But…that's not till Wednesday!" She pursed her lips in thought. "Oh! Let me wash it for you!"

"No." his answer was quick and cold.

"Please? I'm the one who caused the mess; let me try to fix it."

Something in his gut told him not to give in and give her the hat, but he really didn't understand the strange feeling of foreboding he had. She lived alone and did her own laundry and her clothes didn't seem to ever be messed up, as far as he could tell. Using that logic he handed her the hat with only a mild grumble.

"Be careful with it."

"I promise!"

The next morning he awoke to a quick knock on his door at the inn and groggily went to open it. No one was there. He was about to close the door when he noticed a box on the floor with an envelope on top. Curious he picked it up and read the letter.

_Dear Vaughn,_

_ I finished cleaning your hat! There was a small accident with my kitty and some bleach. _

_ Please don't kill me! I love you! 333 XOXOXO_

His stomach dropped as he shakily opened the box and peered inside. The resounding shout woke half the town as Chelsea was seen running full speed for her farmhouse.

Later that afternoon Vaughn grumbled as he brushed the cows he was preparing to transport back to the city while Julia stared at him wide eyed from the fence.

"Vaughn…your…"

"Don't say it…"

"But…!"

"Hush!"

There was a tense silence, before Julia smirked. "No one can deny you're a cowboy now… Moo!"

"Shut the hell up!" His face turned red as he ripped his hat off his head and threw it at her as hard as he could. She couldn't stop laughing as she caught the now black and white spotted hat as said cowboy stomped away towards the docks, with the cow in tow.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_Yeah…my cat has done that before…my poor dearly departed highlander shirt...*mourns loss*_

_For those who don't know "XO" in a letter means kisses and hugs…at least that is what my aunt used to tell me._


	4. Chapter 4

**Ten Ways to Annoy a Cowboy**

Written by SomaFan

_AN: Story #4…I was a busy girl this morning!_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

A beautiful spring day, found Vaughn helping Chelsea milk some of her prized cows. While she was busy bottling the milk, he was packing it and noticed a strange label on one of them. It had a picture of a crudely drawn pair of teeth under sloppy red words he couldn't quite make out.

"Chelsea…what is this?"

"Hmm? Oh that one was for ya!"

"What's with the label?"

"Ya can't read it?"

"No. I can't read toddler." She gave him a quick punch to the shoulder and a pout before standing at his side and reading the print.

"It says. 'Have ya seen me?'"

He knit his brows together. That made even less sense. "Okay…so why teeth?"

"It's not teeth. It's a smile!"

"Huh!?" His confusion only grew and she sighed in exasperation.

"It's your smile."

"My smile looks like that!?"

She elbowed him and gave him a glare all her own. "So I can't draw!"

"It's not too bad I guess…better then I could do." Her face softened at his backpedaling.

She reached up, pushed his hat off his head, and wrapped her arms around his neck forcing him to meet her eyes. "It was so beautiful. The last time I saw it was 4 months ago and I wondered where it went…"

He flushed scarlet as her words sank in. Despite his embarrassment he couldn't keep a grin from forming on his face as she gazed at him adoringly. Her eyes lit up in excitement. "That's it, right there!"

"Stupid girl…" his smile widened before he pulled her into a kiss.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_This was inspired by a proposal I saw once at a family gathering. Cute right? _


	5. Chapter 5

**Ten Ways to Annoy a Cowboy**

Written by: SomaFan

_AN: #5 I have no idea if what he is doing actually is used in breaking in a young horse, but my cousin told me that is how they do it on their farm and I am way too lazy to change the story if it is wrong…_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

A hot day during summer wasn't a new experience. Neither was seeing Vaughn in the middle of a field working hard. Today he was busy trying to break in a young mahogany mare, and running her around the fields to get her used to the feel of a saddle. He encouraged her to trot and prance around him in large circles guided by a long length of rope. Chiding her softly when she would try to roll on her back, and handing her apple slices and carrots when she finally stopped trying to buck off the saddle, he finally decided to let her rest and get some water.

While he watched her drink heavily from the trough, he realized how thirsty he was, and looked around for his water. He saw the bottle on the ground a few feet away but could see it had fallen over and spilled most its contents into the sandy soil. A groan escaped his lips at the terrible timing, since he couldn't leave the mare alone until the session was complete.

The sound of voices caught his attention and Vaughn looked up to see Chelsea and Julia walking down the path on the other side of the fence. He couldn't make out what they were discussing and he didn't care, but what truly got his attention was the opaque water bottle in Chelsea's hand.

"Hey, Chelsea!" She looked up startled and waved back at him happily, stopping as he came over to her.

"Hiya! Need something from me, Vaughn?"

"Kinda yeah. Think I could have a drink from your bottle? Mine spilled."

"Sure ya can. I don't mind, but-"

"Thanks!" before she could finish her sentence he had taken the bottle from her hand and quickly swallowed a few gulps of the juice down. He handed her the bottle back with a grateful smile and noted her staring at him. "…What?"

She seemed to come out of her trance at his inquiry and smiled back. "It's nothing. Keep up the good work!" She gave him a peck, before he tipped his hat to her and jogged back to the mare. When he was out of ear shot, Julia spoke up. "You're not going to tell him that was carrot juice?"

"Nope…"


	6. Chapter 6

**Ten Ways to Annoy a Cowboy**

Written by: SomaFan

_AN: _LaineL0viXo _I wasn't expecting a review while I was still uploading/editing the story chapters, but glad you liked it. And yeah…I think I WAS supposed to type "sturdy" but, um, er…oh forget it. I'm too tired to make up excuses.…Even though I just posted it I am still too lazy (well more like weak…) to redo it just to change one word… maybe next month._

**XXXXXXXXXX**

It had been a very busy day for the poor animal transporter. Vaughn hadn't even had time for breakfast this morning as Julia had all but dragged him from his bed three hours earlier then normal. It was 5pm now and he had been working without breaks all day. A good portion of the animals from the last transport had gotten ill from the new feed he had gotten in the city. Now that things had finally calmed down, he was resting in the shade of a large apple tree in one of Mirabelle's fields.

As Chelsea made her way towards the sleeping cowboy, she saw Charlie running away from the man with hands clasped over his mouth stifling giggles. She had to suppress her own laugh as she saw Vaughn fast asleep with a new black mustache painted across his top lip.

"Hey wake up, Love! I brought ya something to eat." He yawned and stretched, before looking at her in confusion. She had handed him a slightly wet paper towel and tapped her own top lip in explanation. He reached up to touch the indicated spot, before cursing under his breath. Thank god Chen didn't bring permanent markers to the island, or that kid would have been in big trouble.

While he cleaned himself off, she took out some sandwiches and a thermos of porridge, and sat next to him in the warm grass. It was a comfortable spring evening, and the scent of flowers filled the air. Everything was perfect, and coming to life around them. Her gaze fell lovingly to the man sitting next to her who was now sipping at the porridge contentedly; all his previous annoyance seemly gone without a trace.

"Hey, Vaughn?"

"Hmm?"

"Do ya ever think about having children?"

"No." His answer was instant and his voice was flat. She was kind of shocked by the answer.

"Why?"

"Because kids do annoying things like…" He motioned to his face. "They are loud, very rarely listen, ask stupid questions, and if you say anything even the slightest bit angry they get scared and start crying."

Again there was no hesitation in the response. "You've thought about this."

"Damn straight."

She pursed her lips a bit in thought. "They aren't always like that though…and certainly it would be different with your own babe. After all they would have been raised around an old grumpy puss like ya so they wouldn't scare so easily."

She ruffled his hair a bit, knocking his hat to the ground. He made a face at her, before placing it back into his head contemplating her words.

"I suppose that's true…" She beamed when he acknowledged her argument and she could see the wheels turning over in his mind as he considered the idea.

Out of nowhere a ball came crashing down onto his lap causing him to spill his very warm liquid meal. Faster then they could even blink, the ball was followed up by Eliza who promptly snatched Vaughn's cap from his head and ran away as fast as her legs could carry her. She ran to a waiting Charlie, placed the too big hat upon his head and they both ran off laughing like they had just played the best game ever. He watched her go with a strangely calm demeanor, but Chelsea could see the fury raging in his eyes. Those two would be in big trouble with their parents tonight.

He winced when she brushed some of the porridge off his now reddening skin, and looked her square in the eye. She knew what was coming.

"No way in the 7 layers of hell will I EVER want kids!" and he stormed off to go find Gannon and get his hat back. She found she could offer no rebuttal to his statement…at least for today.


	7. Chapter 7

**Ten ways to Annoy a Cowboy**

Written by: SomaFan

_AN: Hmm…not sure I would call this one funny, but it is kinda what I planned out for my own wee ones someday…god I will so scar my own children for life if I ever have any…_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

Vaughn sneezed in the chilly morning air. The sun was shining and bright, but it was still too early to have warmed the air much. He stretched his back, feeling a few of his muscles stretch and pop with the motion, but stayed in his kneeling position. A new calf, born last night, was being supported by his arms as he fed it with a large bottle. Charlie was watching him from the top of the stall and asking him questions all the while. Vaughn was not much of a kid person, but he was trying his best to answer the boy's inquiries and stay calm.

The calf bumped the bottle in his hand roughly before once again suckling the rubber top.

"Why'd he do that?"

"'She' did that to get the milk to flow easier. Calves tend to do that to their mother's udders when feeding."

"Oh…why are you feeding her instead of her mommy?"

"Her mommy is sick, so she will be hand fed until the cow is strong enough to take over the job."

"Oh…Vaughn?"

He took a deep breath to calm his temper. All the questions were beginning to grate on his nerves. But he couldn't fault the kid for being curious and since Chen was watching from the doorway he didn't want to yell at the boy for no reason.

"What is it, Charlie?" he asked through a strained smile.

"Where do babies come from?"

Vaughn almost dropped the bottle. "Er…that's a question for your father."

Charlie looked over at his dad before shaking his head. "I asked him yesterday and he told me to ask Mr. Headlights. _That's you by the way."_ Charlie whispered the last part and Vaughn inwardly groaned. Figures the one time he lied would come back to bite him. He gave the older man a glance out of the sides of his eyes and Chen nodded with a small blush. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the man had been too embarrassed to tell his own child the truth and had sent him here to have him make up some sort of story like before.

"Okay well…um…" How was he going to tell the kid what he wanted to know without scaring him for life or making a permanent enemy out of Chen? He was so busy racking his brain trying to come up with a true, yet censored version of events that he failed to notice Chelsea leaning against the barn door next to Chen.

"Well…you see…when a boy and girl are old enough…and they love each other. They can get very…close."

"Close?" The boy thought for a moment. "Like when two people dance?"

"Sort of…I guess it could be considered a dance. But it is a very special dance that is only for adults that love each other."

Charlie nodded his understanding, but then seemed confused. "How does dancing make a baby?"

He groaned. That question should have been predicted with a smart boy like Charlie. "Well…when adults do that special dance their love becomes…tangible, and if the adults do that dance enough, something changes within the girl. That special love creates a baby that starts growing up in her tummy. That's why pregnant girls get bigger then normal girls."

"Oh…how do the babies breathe inside of the girl's tummy? Do they have gills? Is there a pocket of air?"

"That's…um…with this!" He showed Charlie the small tube that was still attached to the newborn calf. "This tube connects the mommy and baby together and the baby shares all the things it needs with his mommy. Like air and food, until they day they are born."

"Oh I get it. I guess that's why babies love their mommies, right?"

"Right." Vaughn nodded and sighed in relief when he heard no more questions coming from the boy. "Well it's time for this baby to get some sleep, so you should go now."

"Aww…but I wanted to pet her!"

"Not right now. Let her take a nap. You can come by later and feed her if you like though."

"Really?" The boy's face instantly lit up and he gave Vaughn a hug as the man exited the stall, before running excitedly over to his dad to tell him the good news. Chen listened to his son tell him everything he had already heard and gave Vaughn a grateful, approving look, before waving the man good bye.

"A dance between lovers, huh?" Chelsea giggled as he finally noticed her and flushed the color of sunset. "How poetic."

He pulled his hat down over his eyes. "It…isn't a lie…"

"No it isn't." She agreed and pushed his hat back up so she could give him a warm, deep kiss that let him panting and hot against her. "What do ya say cowboy? Wanna dance?"

He raised an eyebrow at her, before smirking and pushing her softly down upon the hay. "With you? Anytime."


	8. Chapter 8

**Ten Ways to Annoy a Cowboy**

Written by: SomaFan

_AN: I saw a picture on Deviant Art that showed Vaughn playing a…unique game that inspired this fic. Hope no one gets mad at me for this one…_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The chill of a winter day always did wonders for Vaughn's mood. The frosty crisp taste to the air, the soft sound of snow crunching under foot, and, the best part, the tranquility of a day when most people didn't leave their houses…he wouldn't trade these experiences for the world!

He entered Mirabelle's shop and wiped the snow from his boots on the mat. The warm air felt great to his chilly body. Julia came out of the kitchen and handed him a mug of warm milk sweetened with honey.

"Thanks." he gave her a polite nod which she returned and went over to a small basket on the counter. He gave it a quick sniff to make sure she didn't put anything strange in it before taking a small sip. There was more honey in it then he usually liked, but it wasn't nearly as inedible as most of her cooking, so he drank it down, savoring the warmth. "Where's Mirabelle?"

"At the café. They needed some extra eggs." He heard a strange sound coming from the basket and his curiosity was peaked. When he looked into it over her shoulder he was surprised to see a tiny infant wrapped in a small pink blanket.

"A baby?"

"Yup. Isn't she cute? It's my new little cousin, Skyler." He gave her a weird look before going to the kitchen to put his cup in the sink. "Her mother is ill, so we are going to be watching her for the next 3 weeks."

"Oh." He kept his face neutral, but silently cringed. With a baby around the shop he would have to be more careful about his language and the tone of his voice. He couldn't complain though, since most of his work was done in the barns or on the farms, so it would only be for a few hours a day at most.

The phone rang and Julia rushed to pick it up before it could wake the baby. Vaughn walked back to the main shop area and pulled some papers from behind the counter. He sat down near the baby's basket and began filling out the transport forms he would need for tomorrow. He worked in silence for a few moments before he saw Julia rushing for the door while pulling on a coat.

"Where are you going?"

"To the Diner. Nick called and said he needs a delivery of milk for tonight."

"I'll do it."

"No it's fine. You need to finish your work." She practically shooed him back to the counter.

"But what about…?" He eyed the basket uncertainly and she giggled at his nervous expression.

"She'll be fine. It won't take more then fifteen minutes, and I just fed her so she should be down for the next hour." Before he could comment further she rushed out the door, leaving him alone with the baby. Uncomfortable would have been an understatement. Vaughn was never good with kids, but babies were worse. They couldn't talk to say what they wanted, and when they started crying he never knew what to do, especially since most of the time they cried after seeing him…

He tried to get back to work, and managed to get a good portion of it done before he heard the sound he was dreading. The infant was beginning to stir. He tried to keep quiet and ignore the small sounds it was making in the hope that she would go back to sleep. After all it hadn't even been ten minutes and she was supposed to sleep for an hour.

That hope was dashed, and he cringed at the wail that suddenly came from the makeshift cradle. With a sigh he cautiously peered into the basket and came face to face with the small, round little bundle of joy. She had thin brown hair, and the roundest, palest blue eyes he had ever seen. The wailing stopped as she saw him come into view and she cooed instead.

Since she quieted down he figured he could safely go back to work, but as soon as he walked away from the cradle the wailing began again. He walked back gave the baby a glare, to which she responded by reaching up and grabbing his hat and giggling at his irritated mumbling.

"Give that back." He stood up straight and pulled his hat down over his eyes as was his normal reaction when he was annoyed. Suddenly she started crying again which caused him to jump and bend back down in fear that he had hurt her when he had pulled away, but as soon as she saw his face again she started giggling and smiling. He pondered this for a moment, before taking his hat and pulling it back down over his face. Sure enough she started wailing, and when he lifted it back up the giggling started again.

He stared down at the small bundle of giggling joy, wondering what was going on, before the answer hit him like a stampeding cow. It was a game! He remembered seeing mother's play it with babies in the city…what was it called again? "Oh, right…Peek-a-Boo." He muttered the words and looked down at the child, who was staring up at him expectantly. "Oh no way…I am not playing with you!"

She gave him a puzzled look before tears started to once again form in her eyes. The wailing that ensued hurt his ears, and he had to bite his tongue to keep from cursing. "Okay, okay, okay I get it! Fine you win!" He swallowed his pride, took his hat and put it in front of his face. Her crying quieted as she watched the movement with bright eyes. He then pulled the hat away, gave her the sweetest smile he could manage and said "Peek-a-Boo!" in the most playful voice he had ever used. She immediately started laughing and clapping her hands like he had put on the greatest show in the world.

Much to Skyler's delight, he repeated the action and when Chelsea walked into the store ten minutes later she found the game still going on. She could do nothing but stare at the exchange between cold man, and sweet baby as he gave her the softest most playful expressions and voices. At one point he had taken to pulling the hat away and making funny faces and little Skyler squealed in delight at the new dimension he brought to her favorite game.

No longer able to contain it, Chelsea laughed at the newest face. He immediately froze like a deer caught in headlights and his face turned redder then the tomatoes growing in her greenhouse.

"How long have you been there?" His voice was quiet and she couldn't suppress another giggle at his expense. He made an unpleasant face at her before frowning down at Skyler, who was looking up at him questioningly. She didn't understand why the game had stopped and wanted to play more, but he felt too embarrassed to continue now that he had been caught.

"Who's your new friend?" She asked as she approached the small basket and waved happily to the little girl within.

"Skyler…Julia left her here to deliver something…but she wasn't supposed to wake up."

Chelsea nodded understanding, before putting her hands over her own face and pulling them away with a big "Peek-a-Boo!" and a funny face of her own. Skyler stayed quiet for a moment staring at this strange new person, before giggling, though it wasn't as excitedly as it had been with Vaughn. "Aww…I think she likes ya better. Come on. Don't let me stop ya from showing this little sweetie a good time!"

"But…"

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

He gave her an uncomfortable look, and she smiled back at him. "I'll play too so ya don't have to be embarrassed."

Almost reluctantly he nodded and pulled his hat back down over his face. Chelsea watched Skyler's face light up as she saw the now familiar action of her new favorite playmate. He pulled the hat away with his cheeks puffed out and his eyes crossed and she bust out in another round of excited giggles, which only intensified as Chelsea did the action with her hands and came back with her own silly face.

They continued to play for another ten minutes, before Julia and Mirabelle came back to find the playful scene. Vaughn was thoroughly humiliated by this point, so he gave Julia the hardest death glare he had before tickling Skyler under her chin saying goodbye and stomping out of the store. Chelsea followed him, skipping and talking about how much fun it had been. Julia snickered after he left and gave Skyler a thumbs up.

"Good job little one! I knew he was a big softy on the inside and now I have the proof!" She pulled a camera out of her pocket and smiled happily at the screen's image. It showed Vaughn's last funny face to Skyler and the baby's intensely happy expression. "This is so going on your Birthday invitations!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Ten Ways to Annoy a Cowboy**

Written by: SomaFan

_AN: This one was inspired by the same friend who inspired the headlights one…It wasn't supposed to be funny and more of a made up past since the game never goes into details about Vaughn as far as I am aware. (Again far from an expert on these games!) I am severely disappointed with how it turned out…but still it demanded to be written down refusing to let me write anything else in the interim, so I kept it in…if anyone has any better ideas as to what the true reason is and would like to try to inspire something better I am more than willing to rewrite this one and give you FULL credit for it…seriously I hate it that much…_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

It had been a deceptively peaceful day. Birds were singing, flowers blooming, just enough wind to keep the air cool and comfortable… He should have known it was too good to be true. Just as he should have known she would eventually ask. Now that they were officially dating she had become obsessed with knowing every aspect of his life; past, present, and if she could future. He didn't mind it usually, since he was curious about her too, but this was the one topic he NEVER wanted to discus.

"Hey Vaughn, why do ya hate carrots?"

He actually cringed at her question. "I just do."

"That's not a reason."

"I don't need a reason to hate something."

"True but…ya hate don't seem normal. I mean…if I think back to the cake incident…"

"I apologized for that…"

She nodded. "Yes ya did, but if ya liked the taste of the cake then ya obviously don't hate the flavor."

He groaned. She had made a very good point, and one he couldn't dispute. "Well…what vegetable do you hate?"

He was trying to change the subject she noted with a frown, but decided to play along. "None."

"…None…nothing…not one? What about fish or dairy…eggs?"

"Nope I love all foods. I used to think I hated broccoli when I was a youngin, but then my mom cooked it with salt and topped it with fresh butter and cheddar cheese and now I can't eat enough of it!"

"So you do hate broccoli, but you like it when it is cooked a certain way?"

"Well I guess…but my point is…"

"I get it. If it was just a matter of taste I wouldn't have gotten mad at you before."

"Exactly! So what is your reason?"

He sighed. It really was something he wanted to avoid, but one look into her expectant eyes told him this question would not be left unanswered.

"Fine…you win…but you won't like it." She beamed and leaned closer. "I didn't know my parents, as you know they both died when I was very young, and I spent my childhood in an orphanage. It wasn't a very good place. Old, rundown, and very poor, we didn't get a lot of variety in our meals. It was limited to what we could grow. Cabbage, potatoes, and…"

"Carrots?"

"Yup. Very simple recipes. Usually boiled with a small amount of salt. By the time I was old enough for high school, I had developed a somewhat hateful relationship with the orange vegetable, because I was tired of it."

"Makes sense…but-"

"I'm getting to it I promise. It was about that time when I started taking gym. It was a whole new experience, with the physical activity, the drill sergeant like teacher, and the humiliations of the locker rooms. It was there I first started hearing about girls and what they liked…or I guess I should say what guys thought they liked."

She nodded again, this time slower. She wasn't sure she liked where this story was going, but she couldn't back out now. She had asked after all.

"Well about this time, one of the jocks, big surprise, got himself a girlfriend. And they were pretty active, if you could believe the stories. They say a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, but that boy told all. Everything they did in excruciating detail. One of his favorite stories involved what a woman could do with food in the bedroom…"

About five minutes later, Chelsea could be seen walking away from Vaughn with a face redder then a strawberry.

"I told you, you wouldn't like it."

"Shut up!" She shouted back to his smirking face. Embarrassed, uncomfortable, and sorry she had asked, she ran away as fast as she could. There were two things she was sure of. 1) That some questions are better left unanswered and 2) "I will never eat another carrot as long as I live!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Ten Ways to Annoy a Cowboy**

Written by: SomaFan

_AN: Woot! Finally up to the last one! This one does not contain much humor. It is supposed to be completely romantic. I had toyed with the idea of keeping this one out of the group and trying to run in into a full story, but that would mean I would have to come up with a brand new idea for a final chapter and…honestly I don't think my muse wants to cooperate at the moment. More like it is trying to hold a gun to my head to get my back into my main chapter fic that is in sore need of an update…as well as trying to get me to write something for the old Save the Homeland game…ahem…yeah anyway…FINAL CHAPTER HEE HOO!_

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Hey, Chelsea!" Vaughn shouted to his brown haired angel. She turned away from one of he cows and beamed him a beautiful smile as he ran up to her. She gave him a hug and a chaste kiss in greeting, which he returned with enthusiasm. The sun shone down on them and there was a warm breeze blowing flower petals around the farm.

"Hey, Cowboy! What brings ya here?"

"I'm not bothering you, am I?"

"Of course not! I'm happy to see ya. It's just unusual to see ya before three."

He pondered this and nodded. "Suppose it is...but I wanted to ask you to have lunch with me."

"Really? As in a date?" He nodded again with a small flush across his cheeks.

She clapped her hands excitedly. "Of course I would! Just need to finish brushin' the cows."

"I'll help."

Once the chore was accomplished, they both headed down towards the café. The small little store was known more for its drinks, but had a nice light menu for breakfast and lunch. Chelsea often would stop in for a meal, but the place felt different today. She had never come in with someone before, much less on a date with her beloved Vaughn, so she was a little more self-conscious then usual. She wondered if she should have washed up or changed into something less work like, but Vaughn didn't seem to mind, and he was dressed in his normal clothes as well.

They ordered their meals, and sat down at a table in the far corner of the room. The silence that stretched between them was awkward as neither really knew what to say and both were nervous since this was their first "official" date as a couple.

"So um…I noticed you didn't order that much…"

"Are ya implyin' somethin'?" she asked while raising an eyebrow.

"N-No…it was just…"

"Just what?"

"I just didn't want you to hold back on my account…or anything."

She giggled nervously and nodded. "Well I wasn't expectin' ya so I already ate a bit before ya came."

"Ah…sorry." He mentally kicked himself. Of course she would have eaten. Any farmer worth their salt knew working on an empty stomach was a fast way to pass out.

"Oh don't get me wrong! I am thrilled to have been invited." She smiled happily, trying to ease the tension between them. "So…how are things in the city? I've never actually lived in one."

"Busy… I don't really like it. People are loud, there is traffic, and the air smells like gasoline and chemicals."

"Well…there must be some good parts to it."

He shrugged. "I guess it is convenient, and the food is more diverse."

"Oh?" She perked up and tilted her head. "How so?"

"You can get almost anything there if you know where to look. The city I come from is a hub of trading, so we get foods from all over."

"Hmm…what is the weirdest thing ya have ever eaten?"

He thought for a moment. "That would probably be a durian."

"What's that?"

"It's a type of fruit. I'm not sure where it comes from, but I have to admit I didn't even want to try it when the seller at the store tried to give me one."

"Why not?"

"Its odor is...indescribable. Think of all the most rotten foods you can imagine, thrown in a dumpster and left to bake in the summer sun."

She scrunched her nose. "Eww…why would anyone eat that?"

He gave a small laugh. "It actually isn't that bad, if you could ignore the smell. It had a sort of slightly slimy, soft texture, and it tasted like a pudding or custard with toasted almonds."

"Wow…that…actually sounds good. If I ever see one I might just have to try it!"

They fell into a comfortable silence as their food was delivered and they began eating. The rest of the meal passed relatively quickly. As nice as it was to be in each other's company they both still had work to do. With a sigh Vaughn stood from the table and walked with Chelsea out of the building hand in hand.

"Thanks for this, Vaughn. It was really nice."

He tipped his hat to her and smiled. "Anytime, Beautiful."

"Well in that case…how about ya join me for breakfast at my house tomorrow?"

He gave her a questioning look, and she smiled back. "I'll make porridge! What do you say?"

"Tempting…" He admitted. She could see hesitation in his eyes, but she knew how to fix that.

"Of course the offer includes ya staying over tonight so ya don't have to get up super early."

He blushed at that, but nodded. "Sounds good."

"Great!" She pulled him into a deep kiss, before walking away with a wave. "See ya tonight!"

He stood there watching her go for a few minutes before going back to his own job. Mirabelle would later admit she had never seen the man work with more enthusiasm or finish up so quickly.


End file.
